19th Hole Lounge
Wednesday May 20th, 2009
HOW TO FADE YOUR DRIVE: JOE BECK
LIGHTNING SAFTEY TIPS:
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All thunderstorms produce lightening and are dangerous.
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Lightening often strikes as far as 10 miles away from any rainfall.
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You are in danger from lightening if you can hear thunder.
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Lightening injuries can lead to permanent disabilities or death.
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Look for dark cloud bases and increasing wind.
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Blue skies and lightening : Lightening can travel sideways for up to 10 miles. Even when the sky looks blue and clear, be cautious. If you hear thunder, take cover. At least 10% of lightening occurs without visible clouds overhead in the sky.
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Persons struck by lightning receive a severe electrical shock and may be burned, but they carry no electrical charge and can be handled safely. A person "killed" by lightning can often be revived by prompt CPR. Other persons, who appear only stunned, may also need medical attention. Do not let victims walk around. Give them first aid for shock.
- FULL LIFE SAVING ARTICLE: If these tips work for you and you don't get killed by lightening show your thanks by buying one of our RIP IT skull T-shrits. I mean Geez, we just saved your life.
GOLF TRUE-ISMS:
Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts
When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always look down at exactly the moment you need to be looking up if you ever want to see your ball again.
A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.
If there is a ball on the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker. If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.
If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he had probably had an eight.
Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.
The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.
There are two kinds of golfers, those that know they suck and those that don't.
Tuesday May 19th, 2009
THE RANGE W/BILL DWYER: "Crack The Whip!"
The Range: Whip from Drinks at Six on Vimeo.
Comment?SWINGING EASY: BILL DWYER
Plenty of times you’ve probably heard someone tell you to swing easy, and let the club do the work. Sure, these people think they’re helping you, but they’re not helping you. A lot of advice is just no good at all. Not just on the golf course, but in life. Have you ever had someone tell you to take up the trapeze? Well I have, and I foolishly listened to him. So I buy the equipment, set up the gear- the ladder, the net, the swings in my sweet backyard, and you know what I find out? You really need another trapeze artist when you’re horsing around on the trapeze. You really can’t do it by yourself. Not at all. Lesson learned. And that lesson is “Don’t listen to every piece of advice you hear.” ‘Let the club do the work.’ Try this. Grab a club, lay it on the ground, put it as close to a golf ball as you want, and watch. Has it done any work yet? Keep watching. Anything? The club can’t do the work. YOU do the work. You just make sure that club is paying attention to what you say. My club always pays attention to what I say. And you know what I usually say?
“Make this shot as pretty as these sweet calves of mine.”
And I whisper it too. There’s no need to shout. How about that? It always listens. It knows it’s master, and it obeys…like the mighty Excalibur. And as my ball soars through the air, I am once again reminded why I am King.
I’m Lord Bil Dwyer, and I shall see thee on: Thy Range.
ISAG Thanks to comedian Bill Dwyer for his very, very funny videos and "musings"! Thanks bud. Visit Bill's website at www.therangeshow.com
COMING SOON TO OUR "GIRLS OF GOLF"...caddy girl "Choya" from Nebraska...we hear tell they produce some pretty tastey corn as well.
Monday May 18th, 2009
JOKE(S) OF THE DAY:
"Buddy can you spare a dime?"
A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money will you buy beer with it instead of dinner?" "No, I had to stop drinking years ago",'the homeless man replied.
"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" " What could I possilbly get for ten bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man.
"Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked. "Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
"'Well", 'said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife." The homeless man was astounded."Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, women and golfing."
"Would you re-marry?"
WIFE:What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?
HUSBAND:
Definitely not!
WIFE:
Why not - don't you like being married?
HUSBAND:
Of course I do.
WIFE:
Then why wouldn't you remarry?
HUSBAND:
Okay, I'd get married again.
WIFE:
You would? (With a hurtful look on her face).
HUSBAND:
(Makes audible groan).
WIFE:
Would you live in our house?
HUSBAND:
Sure, it's a great house.
WIFE:
Would you sleep with her in our bed?
HUSBAND:
Where else would we sleep?
WIFE:
Would you let her drive my car?
HUSBAND:
Probably, it is almost new.
WIFE:
Would you replace my pictures with hers?
HUSBAND: That would seem like the proper thing to do.
WIFE:
Would she use my golf clubs?
HUSBAND:
No, she's left-handed.
WIFE:
Silence -
HUSBAND:
Oh dear...
THIS IS ODDLY FUNNY IF YOU GIVE IT A CHANCE: "Sandbagger"
DUMB QUOTE OF THE DAY: (Steelers James Harrison on why he's not going to go to the Whitehouse with his team to celebrate the Pittsburg Steelers Super Bowl victory.) "If you want to see the Pittsburgh Steelers, invite us when we don't win the Super Bowl." Full story
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We thought about that for a while and we decided James is right! Here's the guest list of all the teams and individual players who didn't win in 2008 that should be invited to The Whitehouse instead of James and the Steelers... |
Sunday May 17th, 2009
SUNDAY CLASSIC VIDEO:(Abbott and Costello, "Who's On First?")
Doesn't get any better than that!
FUN STUFF: "When it's ok to play golf on your wedding anniversary."
JOKE OF THE DAY:
A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his neck. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. "Well, it was like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows. "We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. "I walked over and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball stuck right in the the cow's butt. My mistake was lifting the cows tail and shouting to my wife, "this looks like yours!".
Saturday May 16th, 2009
VIDEO GOLF TIP OF THE WEEK: (The Plugged Bunker Shot, Joe Beck.)
WISHING AMY AND PHIL MICKLESON THE BEST OF LUCK FOR A FULL AND SPEEDY RECOVERY. Our thoughts and prayers are with you both. We know both Phil and Amy are fighters and will be up to this challenge and together will beat this disease. Full Story.
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Amy and Phil started dating in 1992, and were married on November 16, 1996.
BRAIN TEASERS (test yourself with these classic lateral thinking exercises. Mouse over "Answer" to see the answer.)
1) A man is wearing black. Black shoes, socks, trousers, coat, gloves and ski mask. He is walking down a back street with all the street lamps off. A black car is coming towards him with its light off but somehow manages to stop in time. How did the driver see the man?
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2)A man walks into a bar and asks the barman for a glass of water. The barman pulls out a gun and points it at the man. The man says 'Thank you' and walks out. This puzzle claims to be the best of the genre. It is simple in its statement, absolutely baffling and yet with a completely satisfying solution. Most people struggle very hard to solve this one yet they like the answer when they hear it or have the satisfaction of figuring it out.
3)This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is unusual though. Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out.
4)What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?
5)Why is it better to have round manhole covers than square ones? This is logical rather than lateral, but it is a good puzzle that can be solved by lateral thinking techniques. It is supposedly used by a very well-known software company as an interview question for prospective employees.
HOW'D YOU DO? (we got just the first one right.)
To try a few more visit Theo Spark Website...
Friday May 15th, 2009
COMING SOON TO GIRLS OF GOLF: (model and caddy girl from Long Beach California, the little-bit country, Tamara.
SLIP & SLIDE GOLF: (raining too hard to play golf?...gotta find something to do. These guys seem to have found it. Very funny.)
Rained Out Golf Outing - Watch more Funny Videos
JOKE OF THE DAY:
A Golfer is getting a "playing lesson" and is having a particularly bad day. Embarassed at how he's been playing in front of the pro he says "I think I'm going to drown myself in the lake on 18." The pro responds, " I don't think you can keep your head down that long."
MARIA VERCHENOVA (Russian born European Tour pro wants to be the next Maria Sharapova, except with golf. Full story
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...and of course Maria Sharapova below. (the grounds crew seems to be paying close attention to Maria!)
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