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19th Hole Lounge
19th Hole Lounge homepage/archives.(lot's of fun stuff.)
Tuesday March 29th, 2011
JUST A JOKE:
FAMOUS GOLF QUOTES AND ONE LINERS:
"Golf is a game in which you yell 'fore', shoot six and write down five."
Paul Harvey
"Golf is not and has never been a fair game."
Jack Nicklaus
"Give me my golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and fresh air."
Jack Benny
"The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs."
Henry Youngman
"When I'm on a golf course and it starts to rain and lightning, I hold up my one-iron, becaue I know even God can't hit a one-iron."
Lee Trevino
OFF COLOR GOLF JOKE:
A young man went for a round of golf with a girl he liked. Before the game he went to the pro's shop and bought a couple of golf balls which he put in his pocket. When he met the girl she couldn't help but notice the bulge in his pocket. "It's only only golf balls," he explained. "Oh, I'm sorry," she answered. "Is it something like tennis elbow?"
Caddie Jokes:
Golfer: I've never played this badly before.
Caddie: You've played before?
Golfer: Will you stop looking at your watch all the time, it's distracting me.
Caddie: It's not my watch It's my compass.
Golfer: Do you notice any improvement in me today, caddie?
Caddie: Yes, you've had a haircut.
Golfer: Okay, Caddie, can you count?
Caddie: Of course.
Golfer: And can you add up?
Caddie: Of course.
Golfer: So what is four plus five plus three?
Caddie: Nine.
Golfer: Come on, you'll do.
"Well, caddie, how do you like my game?"
"It's terrific. Mind you, I still prefer golf."
"That can't be my ball, caddie. It looks far too old," said the player looking at a ball deep in the trees.
"It is a long time since we started, sir."
Thursday March 17th
HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!!
Irish Jokes and Famous Sayings:
Lyndon B. Johnson: "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
Paul Hornung: "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
George Bernard Shaw: "When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
W.C. Fields: "Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 BC."
What can happen if you drink too much: Paddy, the famous Irishman, is driving home after downing a few at the local pub. He turns a corner and much to his horror he sees a tree in the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid it and almost too late realizes that there is yet another tree directly in his path. He swerves again and discovers that his drive home has turned into a slalom course, causing him to veer from side to side to avoid all the trees. Moments later he hears the sound of a police siren and brings his car to a stop. The officer approaches Paddy's car and asks him what on earth he was doing. Paddy tells his story of the trees in the road when the officer stops him mid-sentence and says, "Fer crissakes, Paddy, that's yer air freshener!
Monday March 14th, 2010
JUST A JOKE: "Tie Me Up"
One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie. 'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you want.'
So he tied her up and went golfing.
LADIES NITE IN THE LOUNGE: Ladies drink 1/2 price, these particular ladies drink for free...
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Wednesday March 9th, 2011
JUST A JOKE:
A golfer, now into his golden years, had a lifelong ambition to play the 17th hole at TPC Sawgrass in Ponte Verde, Fla., exactly the way the pros do it.
The pros drive the ball out over the water onto the small green that is on a small spit of land. It was something the golfer had tried hundreds of times without success. His ball had always fallen short, into the water.
Because of this, he never used a new ball on this particular hole. He always picked out one that had a cut or a nick, as did many other "average" golfers when negotiating very challenging holes.
Recently he went to Sawgrass to try again. When he came to the fateful hole, he teed up an old, cut ball as usual, and said a silent prayer.
However, before he could hit the ball, a powerful voice from above seemed to be booming out from the clouds, saying:
"Wait! Replace that old ball with a brand new one."
The golfer complied, with some slight misgivings, despite the fact that this same force seemed to be implying that he was going to finally achieve his lifelong ambition.
As he stepped up to the tee once more, the voice came down again:
"Wait. Step back. Take a practice swing."
So he stepped back and took a practice swing, certain now that this heavenly force was going to make his dream come true.
The voice boomed out again:
"Take another practice swing."
Dutifully, he did. He stopped expectantly and waited ...
A long silence followed ...
Then the voice again:
"Use the old ball."
;0)
Tuesday March 1st, 2011
PLAYBOY GOLF FINALS 2010! Click here to view our Playboy Golf Galleries or to find an event in your area!
Monday February 21st, 2011
WORLD TRICK SHOT CHAMPIONSHIPS:
Saturday February 19th, 2011
THE GONG SHOT
Thursday February 17th, 2011
"ARROGANT AND PETULENT" : T. V. Commentator reacting to Tiger Woods spitting on green.
Monday February 14th, 2011
SWEET SWING: Tour Pro Blair O' Neil
Wednesday February 9th, 2011
NICKLAUS AND WATSON MAKE $250,000 BIRDIE IN TEAM SKINS GAME... Priceless
Thursday February 3rd, 2011
TOP 10 Hole In One's
Thursday January 20th, 2011
"KWUSH ONE DAD?" ;0)
Thursday January 13th, 2011
FAIL 1: "I'M OK!" (after getting run over by golf cart)
Fat Man Almost Crushed by Golf Cart - Watch more Funny Videos
FAIL 2: AN APPLE A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY?
Golf Fail - Watch more Funny Videos
READER COMMENT: "OMG these were hilarious. Love this site!" David B.
Tuesday January 11th, 2011
LADIES NIGHT IN THE LOUNG: Ladies drink for 1/2 price, these particular ladies drink for free.
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Monday January 10th, 2011
"I HURT MY ELBOW...YOU BLANKING BLANKHOLE."
SERGIO TRYING HIS HAND A POKER: Makes it to final 28! Not giving up his day job, but nice showing none the less.
TUESDAY DECEMBER 28th, 2010
OH HELL, LET'S OFFEND EVERYBODY
Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem?
A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat.
Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation ?
A. A different bar.
Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A. A speech impediment.
Q. Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans On Star Trek?
A. Because they're not going to work in the future either.
Q. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A. The southern zoo has a description of the animal along with a recipe.
Q How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the 'F' word?
A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell, 'BINGO!'
Q. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A. A northern fairytale begins, ....'Once upon a time...'
A southern fairytale begins,... 'Y' all ain' t gonna believe this shit.'
Lifted from Theo Spark web site. Good stuff!
19th Hole Lounge homepage/archives.(lot's of fun stuff.)
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