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19th Hole Lounge
19th Hole Lounge homepage/archives.(lot's of fun stuff.)
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Saturday September 25th, 2010
JUST A JOKE:
Tom was a man of faith, and a man of the golf course. He played golf every Sunday religiously, but only after attending church services.
Tom was getting on in years, and one day after feeling ill, he said to his wife, "I sure hope there is golf in the afterlife. I feel terrible!"
His wife told him not to overreact with talk about the afterlife. "Go to church and say a little prayer," she suggested, "and you'll feel better."
So Tom headed to church. As he kneeled at the pew, Tom whispered a prayer: "Oh Lord, thank you for everything - my health, my wife and my golf game. I hope that when I reach Heaven I can still play golf."
As soon as he finished, a voice thundered: "Tom, this is the Lord. I hear you and will answer your question. Do you want the good news or the bad news first?"
Tom was startled. "Well, give me the good news," he said.
The Lord replied, "The good news is that in Heaven, we have thousands of championship golf courses, play is never slow, it's always free and you will never lose a golf ball."
Tom was ecstatic, "That's wonderful! You've answered my prayer! But what is the bad news?"
The Lord replied, "You tee off tomorrow at 9 a.m."
Friday September 17th, 2010
URBAN FREESTYLE GOLF:
Saturday 9/11/2010
HOW TO PICK UP WOMEN ON THE GOLF COURSE: by Plabyboy Playmate and Playboy Golf hostess...Shannon James! Full Story from Playboy.com.
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See more of Shannon on the golf course in our Playboy Golf Scramble gallery.
Friday 9/10/2020
PUTTING BRA: We kid you not.
Thursday September 9th, 2010
R-RATED GOLF JOKES
Leprechaun
One day a man was out playing golf, when he sliced his shot off into a patch of buttercups. Rather disgusted with himself, he went in search of his ball. After finding it, he was ready to hit the ball back on the fairway when he heard a voice say "please don't hurt my buttercups". Startled, he looked around to find the source of the voice to no avail.
Again the man prepared to hit his golf ball and again he heard the voice say "please don't hurt my buttercups". This time when the man looked to find the source of the voice, he saw a small leprechaun standing by him. The little man spoke to the man and said, "Please sir, if you will kindly pick up your ball and throw it up onto the fairway instead of hitting it with your club, I will reward you with a year's supply of butter for free".
The man thought about the offer for a minute then replied, "That's a fine offer, but I have a question for you, where the hell were you last week when I hit my ball into the pussy willows?"
Genie
To celebrate their 7th anniversary, a man and his wife spend the weekend at an exclusive golf resort. He is a pretty good golfer, but she only just started. When they head down to the golf course after a lavish lunch and a bottle of champagne, they notice a beautiful mansion a couple of hundred yards behind the first hole.
"Let's be extra careful, honey," the husband says, "If we damage that house over there, it'll cost us a fortune."
The wife nods, tees off and - bang! - sends the ball right through the window of the mansion.
"Jesus Christ," the husband says. "I told you to watch out for that house. Alright, let's go up there, apologize and see what the damage is."
They walk up to the house and knock on the door.
"Come on in," a voice in the house says.
The couple open the door and enter the foyer. The living room is a mess. There are pieces of glass all over the floor and a broken bottle near the window. A man sits on the couch.
When the couple enter the room, he gets up and says, "Are you the guys who just broke my window?"
"Um, yeah," the husband replies, "sorry about that."
"Not at all, it's me who has to thank you. I'm a genie and was trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. You've just released me. To show my gratitude, I'm allowed to grant each of you a wish. But - I'll require one favor in return."
"Really? That's great!" the husband says. "I want a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."
"No problem - that's the least I can do. And you, what do you want?" the genie asks, looking at the wife.
"I want a house in every country of the world," the wife says.
The genie smiles. "Consider it done."
"And what's this favor we must grant in return, genie?" the husband asks.
"Well, since I've been trapped in that stupid bottle for the last thousand years, I haven't had sex with a woman for a very long time. My wish is to sleep with your wife."
The husband scratches his head, looks at the wife and says, "Well, we did get a lot of money and all these houses, honey. So I guess I'm fine if it's alright with you."
The genie and the wife disappear in a room upstairs and make love for an hour, while the husband stays in the living room.
When they are done, the genie rolls over, looks at the wife and asks, "How old exactly is your husband?"
"31," she replies.
"And he still believes in genies? That's amazing!"
Friday September 1st, 2010
RODNEY DANGERFIELD ON THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JOHNNY CARSON. (I spit out my drink on the doctors advice joke.)
Thursday August 30th, 2010
TIGER BUYING 54.5 MILLION DOLLAR ESTATE: Exclusive first photos.
Tuesday August 28th 2010
MORE CADDY GIRLS AND SEXY PROS:
Friday August 27th, 2010
Somebody loan him their recovery wedge.
Saturday August 21st 2010
JUST A JOKE:
A golfer was teeing off from the men’s tee, when on his downswing, he realized that his wife was already teeing up on the woman’s tee directly in front of him!
Unable to stop his swing, he nailed it, and hit her in the temple, killing her instantly.
A few days later, the husband got a call from the coroner's office regarding his wife's autopsy.
Coroner: “Your wife seems to have died from blunt force trauma to the head.
You said you hit a golf ball and hit her in the temple, is that correct?”
Husband: “Yes, sadly that is correct.”
Coroner: “Well, Can you explain then why I found a golf ball up her backside?”
Husband: “Was it a Titleist 3?”
Coroner: “Yes, yes it was.”
Husband: “That was my mulligan.”
AWAKEN A SLEEPING TIGER?
"Anyone on The European Ryder Cup Team would love to play Tiger right now the way he's playing". Rory Mcllroy.
This brilliant comment is one of those gaffes that football coaches like to post in the locker room to fire up their team before the big game. Could it be the spark that re-kindles the fire in Tiger Woods? I'm no huge Tiger fan. And not because of his transgressions. I could really care less who he sleeps with, what his driving record looks like or what ball he plays. I like to watch him when he's at his best because he makes these other guys look silly. I like to watch him play because it reminds me of the greatness of the Nicklaus era when more than one guy was great. What I don't like about Tiger is he's a bit of a jerk to his fans, he's full of himself, and while he's the only great golfer we have right now, he's not better than Nicklaus and not 1/10th the ambassador to golf that Jack was. (even without all the women.) Ok, sorry about all this, the Lounge is supposed to be fun! I just thought it was really dumb on Rory's part to shoot his mouth off like that. When you get to be 1/2 as good as Tiger was/is, then you can start talking about how everyone on your squad can beat #1. Until then keep practicing your putting on the living room rug and say "oh shucks" when grandma pinches those cheeks. You've still got a lot to prove on the course before you can talk trash about Tiger woods young man.
BTW: I always liked Rory and still do. But this falls into the category of "stupid is as stupid does".
Full story on Rory's words from Devil Ball Golf
Saturday August 14th, 2010
COMING SOON TO ISUCKATGOLF ...PLAYBOYGOLF! We'll be bringing you full galleries of all the Playboy golf events in an easy to navigate style. (more girls in less time!) Exclusively at ISAG! Coming this month!
Friday August 13th, 2010
RANDOM FAMILY GUY: "Cool Hwhip"
Thursday August 12th, 2010
THE CARTOON SHOT: really, this is serious!
THINGS A LITTLE FOGGY AT PGA CHAMPIONSHIP: Yahoo Sports story.
Tuesday August 10th, 2010
Ladies night in The Lounge.
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Sunday August 8th, 2010
TIGER WOODS, after finishing 18 over par and in 78th place at the Bridgestone Invitational today, one spot ahead of dead last place, has decided that his new swing might be the problem. He demonstrates it here...
Saturday August 7th, 2010
GOOD OL' DAYS: (This Commercial from the 1950's shows they weren't afraid of a little radiation back in the day!)
TAKE A POLL: (be sure to leave a comment from the results page!)
Tuesday August 3rd, 2010
ISUCKATGOLF GEAR: You need this.
View more personalized gifts from Zazzle.
FAMOUS NICKLAUS QUOTE:
A reporter was interviewing Jack Nicklaus. He said, "Jack, you are spectacular, your name is synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the course. What is your secret?"
To which Jack replied, "The holes are numbered!"
JUST A JOKE:
Sign Posted At A Local Golf Club:
Keep your head down.
Stay out of the water.
Try not to hit anyone.
If you are taking too long, please let others go ahead of you.
Don't stand directly in front of others.
Quiet please while others are preparing to go.
Don't take extra strokes.
Very good. Now flush the urinal and go play some golf.
THE GENIE
Two guys were playing golf. One pulls out a cigar and discovers he doesn't have a light. The other guy reaches into his golf bag and pulls out a foot-long Bic lighter. "Wow," says the friend, "Where did you get that big lighter?"
"My genie gave it to me," replied his partner.
"You have a genie?" asked the friend.
"Sure do. He's right here in this bag," replied the partner.
"Do you think he'd grant me a wish?" asked the friend.
"Sure he would!" said the partner. Then he proceeded to take the genie out of the bag.
"Your wish is my command," boomed the genie.
"I want a million bucks" commanded the friend. Nothing happened for a while then all of a sudden the sky turned black as a million ducks flew over.
"I guess I should've warned you about that genie. He's hard of hearing," said the partner. "You don't think I really wished for a 12-inch Bic, do you?"
USELESS GOLF "FACTS"
- To "score well" in golf you must be able to 1 putt 4 to 5 greens per round.
- An 18 handicap on average hits 5 fairways while a 9 handicap hits 8.
- The "average player" hits less than 30% of greens in regulation.
- A golf ball will fly slightly farther on a humid day.
- A golfer only uses about 10% of his brain. Republicans slightly more, Progressives slightly less. (ok, I threw that last one in there! Sorry Dem. friends! just kiddin')
GOLF FANTASY: The Castaway
Sunday August 1st, 2010
OUR NEW GREENSKEEPER
Thursday July 29th, 2010
WHO'S THIS GOLF REPORTER! If you know drop us a line!
PATRIOTIC JOHN DALY: JD watches his tee shot on the tenth hole during the final round of the 139th Open Championship St Andrews, Scotland. Gotta love Big John.
Monday July 26th, 2010
HANGOVER CURES:
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Suffering the consequences of a few drinks too many at the 19th Hole Lounge last night? A hangover is mother natures way of saying you had way too much fun and now it's payback time. Here are the best recipes to get you feeling better and back on that bar stool in no time!
# Lots of Water
Your body might have been 90% water before you went out but it feels like 9% now. Get your dried out husk of a body over to the sink and drink, drink, drink. Drink until you can't drink anymore, then wait and drink some more.
# Sports Drinks
Try to swallow as much of these as you can stand. Gatorade and PowerAde and will help to replace a lot of the vitamins, salts and minerals that you got rid of last night. Naturally, the liquid refreshment will do you good too.
# Good Old Grease
After a hard night's drinking, your digestive system is under a lot of strain, so bacon, sausages and the works may cause indigestion. However, fat contains lots of calories, so you will get a much-needed energy boost, and eggs and meat are rich in the amino acid, cysteine, which is thought to be good at clearing out toxins.
# Painkillers and Antacids
Alcohol is an irritant to the stomach, so aspirin and ibuprofen (also irritants) may make matters worse. Over-the-counter antacids will protect your stomach lining and ease acid indigestion. Meanwhile, a couple of Tylenol should quell that brain-splitting headache.
# Back to Bed
You drank way too much, so you deserve a good rest. This is especially good if you can find someone to wait on your every need.
# Tomatoes
Hangover sufferers regularly eat tomatoes (soup, pasta sauce, raw, etc.) to ease their symptoms. They're rich in vitamin C, which gets depleted after a night of drinking. This may explain why the classic morning-after drink, Bloody Mary, is so popular.
# Hair of the Dog
This is not one for the faint-hearted. Research has shown that it works - but only temporarily. While your body is busy dealing with a new intake of booze, it suspends its torture. But once you stop drinking you're likely to go back to hangover hell.
# Fruit Juice
Juice, especially freshly-squeezed, works well because it replaces lost vitamins, the fruit sugar (fructose) boosts your energy levels, and it may play a part in speeding up your body's toxin-ridding process.
# Caffeine
Some people swear by a can of coke, cup of tea or black coffee. However, these will only make you feel better for a little while. A hangover is a sign of dehydration, and caffeine also causes dehydration. So this combination may just end up making your head hurt worse.
LIARS AND CHEATERS:
Thursday July 22nd, 2010
A VERY YOUNG JACK NICKLAUS (1942)
Below: We blew up the top right section of the above photo to show what may well be Jack's very first cheering gallery! (looks like mom raising her arms next to the cameraman to get little Jackie to look at the camera!)
Saturday July 17th, 2010
LAUREN THOMPSON OF THE GOLF CHANNEL: "Tom, is that a divot tool in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
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Friday July 16th, 2010
CADDYSHACK IN ONE MINUTE:
HOW NOT TO VIDEOTAPE YOUR SWING:
Tuesday July 14th, 2010
Paula Creamer Wins U.S. Open!: How cute and classy is this gal?!
Thursday July 8th, 2010
"Loung-ing Girls :
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Wednesday July 7th, 2010
BARRY GOLDSTEIN: This is what our star expert here at ISAG is doing for the summer months. Ask Barry Goldstein your golf questions for free anytime from our site! Thanks Barry! Ask Barry Goldstein.
KIDS DOING SOME PRETTY COOL TRICK SHOTS: Love The Eye of The Tiger song being used for this. A little much for the the feats being performed, but we're assuming that was the intent. We like.
19th Hole Lounge homepage/archives.(lot's of fun stuff.)